2018

I stress a bit when I wish to write. Don’t get me wrong I love writing as it is a release of sorts and my way of learning the art of writing. But I stress a bit about “what if I get the grammar wrong?”,  “what if I get the format wrong?”, “What if I do not put up a relevant photo suiting the theme?” etc.

Then I have made up my mind that screw all this; just write!! The more I write the more I get right. I need to be less mindful about the dress up and the sizzle but care only about putting out a good steak (blog) that is juicy and succulent; after all content is king.

Trishala (my elder daughter) and I have excellent conversations. Lot of banter bordering on topics that can be frowned upon and sometimes related to life and such. The medium term past has been pretty tumultuous. I have only in the last two odd years commenced to savour normal life; previously I could not predict on a Monday how each day of the week would turn out to be. Such an uncertain routine over an extended period of 7 years can wear out the best. Having survived all that I at times tend to rue over the lost opportunities due to shifted focus and priorities; particularly those related to my career. When I was in such a pensive state, my daughter said “Life is not linear papa! Shit happens. At least we are in a good space now and we have every opportunity to remain optimistic and build on what we have.” That is gold!!

Taking inspiration from my  young one’s comment I reflect on the key issues and experiences of 2018.

Family: I am very proud the way 2018 turned out on this front. I appreciate my kids and wife a lot more. The desire to go looking for external mingle and mix has died considerably; probably this is due to two factors. I am an introvert and draw energy by staying quite a lot on my own, doing things I love such as read, watch docos, work on my own self development and improvement. These activities provide me immense joy. I am very conscious that networking takes a beating because of this but then I ought to resolve this issue in my own mind as to what kind of network I want; that I will zero in on this year.

Just spending time with Trishala and my wife as desired also provides me much respite. Avanti my younger one is coming into her own and is exercising independence as never before. I am proud of that but I did not let her know of this. Avanti, I am proud of you and I will say that to your face more often!! She had a pretty raw deal on many fronts for the last 5 odd years which I would like to believe has taught her lessons and I can see she is determined to pick herself up and grow from strength to strength. Many interactions with family have provided me the confidence that we all will be ALL right! Things will take their own sweet time but progress will certainly be upward and forward. Just being there for the kids is all I need to do from here on.

Japan: We were glad that we could visit Japan albeit for 10 odd days. In hindsight we should have delayed it by a couple of weeks to witness the blossoms. But then no regrets. It still fascinates me how can such a packed country stay so clean and organised, how does the populace manage to be conscious about the rules regulations and follow them to the hilt, be bothered more about others’ comfort at the expense of their own, be so helpful despite lack of knowledge of English to tourists and visitors, etc. And it would be unfair to compare the culture with the two most important countries close to my heart India and Australia. I see how several and obvious things are flawed in my own two countries. One would say that it is stupid to compare apples with bananas but then I just cannot stop wondering the lack of certain civility and discipline in comparison to one against the other two; particularly India more than Australia. Australia has many things going right but some aspects are unpalatable.

A simple example that haunts me; we talk about Mumbai, Kolkata being 25M population cities yet Tokyo is 35M. The discipline people exhibit in Tokyo is opposite to Mumbai or Kolkata. Unfair to compare but it pains me that the problem exists! It all boils down to the culture and values of the people of a country. Mindset is king! I am hopeful that India and to an extent Australia too will be able to rise to certain challenges in future. I hope I get to see all that before I am cremated. One recommendation; if you have not visited Japan, do not waste time. Visit it!

Trip to India Aug Sept: I was glad I took time to attend a wedding from my wife’s side. I made great friends and created new relationships that I cherish. Moreover, I got acquainted with many of the relatives from my wife’s mother’s side. The warmth with which they received me was surprising. I enjoyed all that honestly! The more important message is that I must meet a lot more people than just be holed up in my present comfort zone and when meeting them must meet them in a totally non-judgmental manner. I am happy that I am doing this now. Visits to Delhi and Agra were good but exhausting!! The weather was oppressive; yet unsurprisingly it did not dilute my enjoyment of Taj and the additional bonus was the Akshardham temple. Taj rules and Akshardham is a master piece in its own right!

The gamble that paid off: Leaving the kids to look after themselves for two; two week periods and them take care of Snowy our Tibetan Spaniel with a beautiful personality and character, was a calculated risk. I seriously thought we would walk into a burnt down house or the doggie missing or stolen, the house broken into, the dishes lying in the sink gathering serious virus or bacteria that can cause more devastation than anthrax. But seriously, the kids managed our absence well. Apart from some blips all was good. My wife and I were able to spend great alone-time which is important for improving our own commitment and relationship. Next trip will be to Cambodia I hope.

Increasing obsession with India: I exited India during bleak economic times. C’est la vie;  my 27 odd years overseas were not too different to any other immigrant’s life. Settling down, learning on the go, making more mistakes than normal and at times learning too late in the piece and when the learnings did happen the associated regret and remorse remained but not the opportunity. My personal and family demons and dealing with them single-handedly are all part and parcel of the journey. But in more settled times as now, I have indulged in taking a deep interest into key historic events that occurred in my country India. This interest has no vested purpose but a genuine effort to improve my own understanding of what were the causes and the significance of these events back then for I did not have the inkling or the maturity to absorb their impact on this complex nation. When some of these historic events took place I used to wander the colony I lived in Delhi bare footed playing marble games, getting into fights with kids my age, completely into Muslim friends in Hyderabad, my recollections of having studied for two years in 100% Muslim school, my best friend in years 79 to 91 being Muslim, their influence on me, etc.

The wars India endured since independence have cleared my perspective. The politics around these wars and the Kashmir dispute, associated history since 1845 and the weak and spineless decisions made by the politicians back then see us in the strife that we are under today. I think China is a dangerous country, but their actions in 1962 when you look at the facts; are justified. Nehru was too trusting, unprepared for war, reliant on relationships, rhetoric and was not wanting to confront the brutal facts; relying on a British drawn MacMahan line as international border was plain dumb. The atrocities of Indira’s emergency and the total failure of the Janata Party’s short rule and Indira’s comeback, Sanjay’s death and Rajiv’s take over, Rao’s economic liberalization are all fascinating!! The cunning manner in which Sri Lanka made India fight their war with LTTE is depressing. I can go on but I digress into the present state of politics and governance.

We now have a government which has full majority in parliament and is not a coalition stitch up. Yes; it made promises and I do not think it said that it will fulfill all of them in a 5 year term. They are making a concerted effort. But the manner in which they approach some issues may not be the best but their intent and efforts are genuine. They have the courage to raise very uncomfortable questions on past mistakes, correct associated anomalies and discuss the elephants openly obviously do not please some sections of the masses. Expecting them to get EVERYTHING right in a 5 year tenure is surely setting them up for failure. I do not agree with certain things they do but largely support them with their efforts and achievements. The run up from now too April 2019 will be an exciting watch as this great and interesting country goes to polls to choose the leader. I wear my support on my sleeve and my heart. My kids chide me on this obsession as I listen to interviews and political debates every moment I can; while cleaning the house or gardening or any such thing. I have been sucked in and don’t think I will come out of it.

I love Australia: This was not my feeling when I landed here on 5 Sept 2008. It was daunting and the work culture was too direct and at times confronting. People exuded a  certain level of confidence which seemed like arrogance and was unnerving. But then I studied the reasons underneath all this progressively and after getting to the root of their value system I  appreciate them a lot now. I love this country and I confess that it would be very difficult to live anywhere else. But then for a guy who has been a rolling stone through 5 countries for 28 years, never say never.

I would like to state two examples that stand out for me in the recent times. The manner in which Cricket Australia got things right by taking very bold actions such as booting out Smith and Warner than doing a cover up job is commendable. Then going onto change the make up of the board and bringing in diversity into the board to make sure that only pale male and stale board composition does not steer the direction of the organisation is commendable. Infusing a woman into the board is refreshing. The coach and the CEO quitting and making way for fresh leadership is courageous. I can only compare this to the contrary conduct of Srinivasan, Shastri and Dhoni; despite Srinivasan’s several wrongdoings w.r.t. ICC, IPL and BCCI; Shastri and Dhoni brown nosed him as they only cared for ensuing that their bread stayed buttered. Another issue that has impressed me is the Royal Commission’s roasting of the banks and the probity demonstrated in doing so. Good governance is an issue with banks and the report’s final recommendations should see them clean up their act to a large extent going forward.

The second instance which made me love Australia is a lot personal. I had hand surgery on the 14th Dec and I was all good until 28th Dec. Infection (embarrassingly) took over the finger and part of the palm; I admitted myself into the hospital’s public system. The care and advise I received until I was discharged on the 2 January 2019 was commendable. There are follow up appointments to ensure that my hand gains full movement and restoration through therapy over the next few months. If the care was not good, being holed up in a hospital for 4 days particularly on new year’s eve with the IV cannula dripping NaCl and antibiotics perpetually was not just going to be unpleasant but plain unbearable. Lugging the cannula unit to wee, to walk a bit, to shower etc was a bloody horrible experience. But the best outcome was the original opinion of slicing my finger and palm open to flush out the infection was calibrated progressively based on the improvement I made over the days and finally the conclusion was that I did not need further surgery; this was was music to my ears. In another country there was a strong possibility of rushing into an operation leaving me with scar tissue on my bony hands and leaving me with the challenge of prolonged rehab taking at least 3 additional months. The impact that would have had on me and my morale would have been devastating. All this 7-star care was FREE!!

One key self improvement: I am proud of how I do not let issues fester now. In Botswana due to lack of maturity I would not express my displeasure to friends with certain occurrences that were against my personal values due to the fear of displeasing them. Confronting issues, constructively with friends is so much easier now and this confidence is also complimented the by the level of maturity my friends expend who are very dear to me and are as good as family. Resolving issues through open and honest conversations and rebuilding lost aspects of relationships has been the icing on the cake. I have a small but a great set of friends who are oxygen.

There are many other aspects as to why I love my life here and expressing them will seem boastful. When I do a pro and con weigh-up, I have to say I love my country – Australia.

Kohli: I would be doing a disservice to myself if I did not make a comment on this great cricketer who is still a ‘raw and being cooked’ leader. With more than a million screw ups I personally have made in my life, I would like to believe that I know what true leadership is. He has a quick temper, shows no remorse when a mistake is made and is too aggressive with his body language; to name a few. I think he will improve as life will temper him and teach him. He and Anushka need to make a kid ASAP to lift his maturity and improve his skill gap I think. On this current tour, I already see many shades of improvements. Despite the media trying to fire him up on trivial issues he seems to be holding his cool and responding well with reasonable answers. All power to him. And Sydney patrons who booed this classy cricketer – you need to look into that; you behaved like assholes and you can do better. I like many others am ashamed of your immaturity and behaviour. Like him or not give him credit for what he truly deserves.

My summary comment is that 2018 has been great. And every year moving from hereon will be great. I intend to make it that. I have received a 360 degree report on my leadership style recently and there is both good and bad. The good I intend to savour, the bad I intend to work on and ensure that I improve and develop myself going forward impacting not just my professional but personal life too. I will claw and smoke out all those lost opportunities lost in last 10 years and try my best to get to my destination; and certainly have fun doing it.

I wish everyone the very best, period. Not just for 2019.