Author: desisdownunderblog

I stress a bit when I wish to write. Don’t get me wrong I love writing as it is a release of sorts and my way of learning the art of writing. But I stress a bit about “what if I get the grammar wrong?”,  “what if I get the format wrong?”, “What if I do not put up a relevant photo suiting the theme?” etc.

Then I have made up my mind that screw all this; just write!! The more I write the more I get right. I need to be less mindful about the dress up and the sizzle but care only about putting out a good steak (blog) that is juicy and succulent; after all content is king.

Trishala (my elder daughter) and I have excellent conversations. Lot of banter bordering on topics that can be frowned upon and sometimes related to life and such. The medium term past has been pretty tumultuous. I have only in the last two odd years commenced to savour normal life; previously I could not predict on a Monday how each day of the week would turn out to be. Such an uncertain routine over an extended period of 7 years can wear out the best. Having survived all that I at times tend to rue over the lost opportunities due to shifted focus and priorities; particularly those related to my career. When I was in such a pensive state, my daughter said “Life is not linear papa! Shit happens. At least we are in a good space now and we have every opportunity to remain optimistic and build on what we have.” That is gold!!

Taking inspiration from my  young one’s comment I reflect on the key issues and experiences of 2018.

Family: I am very proud the way 2018 turned out on this front. I appreciate my kids and wife a lot more. The desire to go looking for external mingle and mix has died considerably; probably this is due to two factors. I am an introvert and draw energy by staying quite a lot on my own, doing things I love such as read, watch docos, work on my own self development and improvement. These activities provide me immense joy. I am very conscious that networking takes a beating because of this but then I ought to resolve this issue in my own mind as to what kind of network I want; that I will zero in on this year.

Just spending time with Trishala and my wife as desired also provides me much respite. Avanti my younger one is coming into her own and is exercising independence as never before. I am proud of that but I did not let her know of this. Avanti, I am proud of you and I will say that to your face more often!! She had a pretty raw deal on many fronts for the last 5 odd years which I would like to believe has taught her lessons and I can see she is determined to pick herself up and grow from strength to strength. Many interactions with family have provided me the confidence that we all will be ALL right! Things will take their own sweet time but progress will certainly be upward and forward. Just being there for the kids is all I need to do from here on.

Japan: We were glad that we could visit Japan albeit for 10 odd days. In hindsight we should have delayed it by a couple of weeks to witness the blossoms. But then no regrets. It still fascinates me how can such a packed country stay so clean and organised, how does the populace manage to be conscious about the rules regulations and follow them to the hilt, be bothered more about others’ comfort at the expense of their own, be so helpful despite lack of knowledge of English to tourists and visitors, etc. And it would be unfair to compare the culture with the two most important countries close to my heart India and Australia. I see how several and obvious things are flawed in my own two countries. One would say that it is stupid to compare apples with bananas but then I just cannot stop wondering the lack of certain civility and discipline in comparison to one against the other two; particularly India more than Australia. Australia has many things going right but some aspects are unpalatable.

A simple example that haunts me; we talk about Mumbai, Kolkata being 25M population cities yet Tokyo is 35M. The discipline people exhibit in Tokyo is opposite to Mumbai or Kolkata. Unfair to compare but it pains me that the problem exists! It all boils down to the culture and values of the people of a country. Mindset is king! I am hopeful that India and to an extent Australia too will be able to rise to certain challenges in future. I hope I get to see all that before I am cremated. One recommendation; if you have not visited Japan, do not waste time. Visit it!

Trip to India Aug Sept: I was glad I took time to attend a wedding from my wife’s side. I made great friends and created new relationships that I cherish. Moreover, I got acquainted with many of the relatives from my wife’s mother’s side. The warmth with which they received me was surprising. I enjoyed all that honestly! The more important message is that I must meet a lot more people than just be holed up in my present comfort zone and when meeting them must meet them in a totally non-judgmental manner. I am happy that I am doing this now. Visits to Delhi and Agra were good but exhausting!! The weather was oppressive; yet unsurprisingly it did not dilute my enjoyment of Taj and the additional bonus was the Akshardham temple. Taj rules and Akshardham is a master piece in its own right!

The gamble that paid off: Leaving the kids to look after themselves for two; two week periods and them take care of Snowy our Tibetan Spaniel with a beautiful personality and character, was a calculated risk. I seriously thought we would walk into a burnt down house or the doggie missing or stolen, the house broken into, the dishes lying in the sink gathering serious virus or bacteria that can cause more devastation than anthrax. But seriously, the kids managed our absence well. Apart from some blips all was good. My wife and I were able to spend great alone-time which is important for improving our own commitment and relationship. Next trip will be to Cambodia I hope.

Increasing obsession with India: I exited India during bleak economic times. C’est la vie;  my 27 odd years overseas were not too different to any other immigrant’s life. Settling down, learning on the go, making more mistakes than normal and at times learning too late in the piece and when the learnings did happen the associated regret and remorse remained but not the opportunity. My personal and family demons and dealing with them single-handedly are all part and parcel of the journey. But in more settled times as now, I have indulged in taking a deep interest into key historic events that occurred in my country India. This interest has no vested purpose but a genuine effort to improve my own understanding of what were the causes and the significance of these events back then for I did not have the inkling or the maturity to absorb their impact on this complex nation. When some of these historic events took place I used to wander the colony I lived in Delhi bare footed playing marble games, getting into fights with kids my age, completely into Muslim friends in Hyderabad, my recollections of having studied for two years in 100% Muslim school, my best friend in years 79 to 91 being Muslim, their influence on me, etc.

The wars India endured since independence have cleared my perspective. The politics around these wars and the Kashmir dispute, associated history since 1845 and the weak and spineless decisions made by the politicians back then see us in the strife that we are under today. I think China is a dangerous country, but their actions in 1962 when you look at the facts; are justified. Nehru was too trusting, unprepared for war, reliant on relationships, rhetoric and was not wanting to confront the brutal facts; relying on a British drawn MacMahan line as international border was plain dumb. The atrocities of Indira’s emergency and the total failure of the Janata Party’s short rule and Indira’s comeback, Sanjay’s death and Rajiv’s take over, Rao’s economic liberalization are all fascinating!! The cunning manner in which Sri Lanka made India fight their war with LTTE is depressing. I can go on but I digress into the present state of politics and governance.

We now have a government which has full majority in parliament and is not a coalition stitch up. Yes; it made promises and I do not think it said that it will fulfill all of them in a 5 year term. They are making a concerted effort. But the manner in which they approach some issues may not be the best but their intent and efforts are genuine. They have the courage to raise very uncomfortable questions on past mistakes, correct associated anomalies and discuss the elephants openly obviously do not please some sections of the masses. Expecting them to get EVERYTHING right in a 5 year tenure is surely setting them up for failure. I do not agree with certain things they do but largely support them with their efforts and achievements. The run up from now too April 2019 will be an exciting watch as this great and interesting country goes to polls to choose the leader. I wear my support on my sleeve and my heart. My kids chide me on this obsession as I listen to interviews and political debates every moment I can; while cleaning the house or gardening or any such thing. I have been sucked in and don’t think I will come out of it.

I love Australia: This was not my feeling when I landed here on 5 Sept 2008. It was daunting and the work culture was too direct and at times confronting. People exuded a  certain level of confidence which seemed like arrogance and was unnerving. But then I studied the reasons underneath all this progressively and after getting to the root of their value system I  appreciate them a lot now. I love this country and I confess that it would be very difficult to live anywhere else. But then for a guy who has been a rolling stone through 5 countries for 28 years, never say never.

I would like to state two examples that stand out for me in the recent times. The manner in which Cricket Australia got things right by taking very bold actions such as booting out Smith and Warner than doing a cover up job is commendable. Then going onto change the make up of the board and bringing in diversity into the board to make sure that only pale male and stale board composition does not steer the direction of the organisation is commendable. Infusing a woman into the board is refreshing. The coach and the CEO quitting and making way for fresh leadership is courageous. I can only compare this to the contrary conduct of Srinivasan, Shastri and Dhoni; despite Srinivasan’s several wrongdoings w.r.t. ICC, IPL and BCCI; Shastri and Dhoni brown nosed him as they only cared for ensuing that their bread stayed buttered. Another issue that has impressed me is the Royal Commission’s roasting of the banks and the probity demonstrated in doing so. Good governance is an issue with banks and the report’s final recommendations should see them clean up their act to a large extent going forward.

The second instance which made me love Australia is a lot personal. I had hand surgery on the 14th Dec and I was all good until 28th Dec. Infection (embarrassingly) took over the finger and part of the palm; I admitted myself into the hospital’s public system. The care and advise I received until I was discharged on the 2 January 2019 was commendable. There are follow up appointments to ensure that my hand gains full movement and restoration through therapy over the next few months. If the care was not good, being holed up in a hospital for 4 days particularly on new year’s eve with the IV cannula dripping NaCl and antibiotics perpetually was not just going to be unpleasant but plain unbearable. Lugging the cannula unit to wee, to walk a bit, to shower etc was a bloody horrible experience. But the best outcome was the original opinion of slicing my finger and palm open to flush out the infection was calibrated progressively based on the improvement I made over the days and finally the conclusion was that I did not need further surgery; this was was music to my ears. In another country there was a strong possibility of rushing into an operation leaving me with scar tissue on my bony hands and leaving me with the challenge of prolonged rehab taking at least 3 additional months. The impact that would have had on me and my morale would have been devastating. All this 7-star care was FREE!!

One key self improvement: I am proud of how I do not let issues fester now. In Botswana due to lack of maturity I would not express my displeasure to friends with certain occurrences that were against my personal values due to the fear of displeasing them. Confronting issues, constructively with friends is so much easier now and this confidence is also complimented the by the level of maturity my friends expend who are very dear to me and are as good as family. Resolving issues through open and honest conversations and rebuilding lost aspects of relationships has been the icing on the cake. I have a small but a great set of friends who are oxygen.

There are many other aspects as to why I love my life here and expressing them will seem boastful. When I do a pro and con weigh-up, I have to say I love my country – Australia.

Kohli: I would be doing a disservice to myself if I did not make a comment on this great cricketer who is still a ‘raw and being cooked’ leader. With more than a million screw ups I personally have made in my life, I would like to believe that I know what true leadership is. He has a quick temper, shows no remorse when a mistake is made and is too aggressive with his body language; to name a few. I think he will improve as life will temper him and teach him. He and Anushka need to make a kid ASAP to lift his maturity and improve his skill gap I think. On this current tour, I already see many shades of improvements. Despite the media trying to fire him up on trivial issues he seems to be holding his cool and responding well with reasonable answers. All power to him. And Sydney patrons who booed this classy cricketer – you need to look into that; you behaved like assholes and you can do better. I like many others am ashamed of your immaturity and behaviour. Like him or not give him credit for what he truly deserves.

My summary comment is that 2018 has been great. And every year moving from hereon will be great. I intend to make it that. I have received a 360 degree report on my leadership style recently and there is both good and bad. The good I intend to savour, the bad I intend to work on and ensure that I improve and develop myself going forward impacting not just my professional but personal life too. I will claw and smoke out all those lost opportunities lost in last 10 years and try my best to get to my destination; and certainly have fun doing it.

I wish everyone the very best, period. Not just for 2019.

Reducing my hands-on approach with kids has provided more ‘me’ time and increased time to reflect and reconnect with India, its politics, economy, and sundry matters. The dynamics of Indian politics, economics, social behaviour, youth mindset, etc. intrigue, excite and at times disappointment me. With my recent visit back home I interacted with a few who have very strong but valid views on the state of affairs of the State of Telengana; my home. The head honcho KCR has declared his ‘senate’ null and void which supposedly is a strategic move in catching his opponents with pants down.  Just as the ‘Efficient Market Hypothesis’ reflects the true value of a stock, dissolving the Assembly was largely anticipated and held few surprises. Congress being the only true opponent seem not too disturbed by the looming prospect of elections; but then time will tell.

It was during a causal discussion with an acquaintance of mine we seemed to agree on our views on KCRs brilliance, ‘rajneeti’ (read politics), his autocratic style on most matters, and his way or no way stance. While India is a democracy, it definitely is not first among equals such as the ones that operate in Scandanavia, NZ or even my own Australia. Putting out a blog post with strong opinions and words in Telengana does have an outside risk for locals; particularly with big brother KCR watching. Freedom of expression as an immigrant in Australia is paramount to me and here it can be truly practiced. I can bag my local MP for his non-performance on his Facebook page without ANY repercussions. And that is truly liberating in a functioning democracy.  It was under such local constraints at home, I was prepared to offer my acquaintance assistance in publishing their post through my own blog site. The reach would be minimal but would give her/him a sliver of assurance that the post is ‘out there’ and also would generate a level of satisfaction to be able to publish it. So without further ado, the following post in my opinion is brilliant and unhindered.  All feedback if any would be appreciated by my acquaintance.

INTERESTING TIMES AHEAD FOR TELANGANA

Totalitarianism is a political system of absolute power (varchasv in Hindi) where the State has no limit to its authority and regulates most aspects of public and private life. There are no competing political parties since they would balance and limit authority. The critical element of totalitarianism is absolute power striving to rule in as many areas of life as possible.

The political conditions prevailing in the newest state of India, Telangana ruled by the Telengana Rashtra Samithi (TRS), perhaps testify to this manifestation of absolutism in its brute form. And the TRS Czar Sri K. Chandrasekhara Rao (KCR) is living up to the status of an absolutist, lording it over masses by way of dispensing patronage and doling out monies for his welfare schemes that seem to be money guzzlers! Having manufactured a comfortable majority by poaching legislators from rival parties, he is now sitting pretty ensconced at the helm, both at the party level and in the government; and if one is looking for a bulwark against a juggernaut TRS party machine, you would find the Indian National Congress and the Bharatiya Janata Party (BJP). The Telugu Desam Party (TDP) in Telangana is breathing its last and KCR /TRS is writing its epitaph by poaching all its leaders. As of now there is hardly anybody left to poach. Those left behind are the diehard Chandrababu (former Chief Minister) loyalists who are holding their ground against marauding hordes of TRS cadre/workers.

The Telangana Congress under the ‘leadership’ of Uttam Kumar Reddy as State Congress Chief is a house divided with a strong cadre but with leaders ready to wage war with anybody other than the ruling party TRS. That, it fancies itself as a formidable opposition is evident only whenever a Central Observer from Delhi or the Congress President’s visit is on the cards. It is at this time, a Press Conference is held and from a grassroots party worker to the State President, KCR and his party become the favorite whipping boys with also the BJP thrown in! Other than this, there doesn’t seem to be a concrete agenda as to how to counter the TRS juggernaut and its strong cadre in impending elections. The TRS will be holding its Pragati Nivedana Sabha on the outskirts Hyderabad where KCR is expected to address a massive crowd of 2.5M,to tom tom his four years of  achievements! On display will be the brute ‘people’ power of the TRS party machinery to boost confidence among the rank and file of the party that it can dare to sail with early elections. However the game plan is to catch the Opposition unawares and turn the tables on them by cashing in on the expected positive fallouts (fruits) of its various welfare and pet projects like Mission Kakatiya, Bhagiratha, Kaleshwaram Project, Rythubandhu, Kalyana Lakshmi, KCR Kits, Shaadi Mubarak and now the Zonal system etc. By tacitly supporting the BJP at the Centre, which supported the new Zonal system and gazetted it, it has ensured that the State BJP remains a weak opposition in Telangana and if it comes to the worst, an alliance may be floated.

But to return to the performance of the TRS Govt, during its four years in the newly minted state, an assessment of its policy delivery on the ground does not need a thorough scrutiny. However, preliminary Statistics reveal that a greater part of the flagship programs are on schedule but in the process, corruption allegations are flying thick and fast in terms of contractors needing to part with huge pay offs to the political class and local TRS toughies! The monies so collected would be fueled into electioneering. Maybe it is for this very reason that KCR seems to tell the cadre not to worry about the elections expenditure! Novel indeed!

To revert to the charge of totalitarianism as spelt out earlier, there are enough indications as to who calls the shots in the TRS! Though KCR remains the unquestioned monarch and is very much like the tenor and creed of Abrahamanic religions where questions should not be asked, there are others who call the shots! Unfortunately such power is solely concentrated in the hands of the ‘Family’, namely his son KTR, his daughter Kavitha and his nephew Harish Rao. Dubbed as ‘Aa Naluguru’ (those four), the levers of power rest in these hands and it would be apt to say all other ministers are ornamental and decorative worthies that do not have a voice; and much like a ventriloquist’s dummy, they do the lip-syncing while the actual voice is that of the master ventriloquist KCR and the members of the ‘Family’! As to who is going to be the heir apparent, hushed tones in the corridors of power already see KTR being groomed to don the mantle of the CM, with a sulking Kavitha trying to be a contender too! It is learnt that she is likely to switch over from being an MP at the centre to a legislator in the State which she has been grooming for her entry into the Assembly. If that be so, then KCR has a tough task on his hands as to who the successor should be, should KCR/TRS romp home with a comfortable majority!

To revisit the feeling among the Telangana ‘Aam Aadmi’ (common man) that the TRS regime is a totalitarian one in the garb of a democratic set up is not without a reason.  Nowhere is this more evident than the way in which the TRS honcho has been pampering the State police by ignoring the Police-Nayeem (a crook and a fromer Naxalite) nexus! For long, it has been an open secret that department’s officers were the biggest beneficiaries of the munificence Nayeem. The state government is loathe to take the name of Nayeem. He was a naxalite during the days of erstwhile Andhra Pradesh. Come Telangana’s formation, he metamorphosed into a local don based in Nalgonda, a district abutting Hyderabad. Nayeem, in his neo avatar as a land-grabber, ran a settlement mafia, comprising of land disputes, postings in the Police department with even molls thrown in to entrap and honey-trap police officers who approached him to curry favours. That Nayeem became a thorn in the TRS flesh when he started blackmailing the chief fund donators to the party, was evident in the manner he was bumped off in a stage-managed encounter. While Nayeem deserved his just desserts, what could not go unnoticed is the full freedom (and fury with which he was gunned down) given to the police to silence him as a matter of assurance to the money bags who were increasingly being targeted by Nayeem!

Needless to say, the Police have been given every conceivable facility to enhance and fine tune their mobility and effectiveness in tackling law and order issues and crime. Toyota Fortuners have been the norm as official vehicles for the cadre from SP upwards while the cadre below is pampered with Innovas, Tata Sumos and Mahindra van basic versions! Every arm of the Police, be it Law and Order, Anti Corruption Bureau, CID, Cyber Crime, Intelligence Wing, Special Battalions, etc. have been modernized and pampered with state of the art facilities that would leave the police from other states in awe! Instructions have been given to put down dissent with an iron hand as is evident in the arrest of low level govt employees who criticized KCR and TRS on Social Media! Imagine a bus conductor from the State Road Transport Corporation being slapped with a criminal case when he criticized the govt. and the CM in an Facebook post!

The very fact that KCR is able to spend vast sums on the Police dept. and also squander precious state financial resources on welfare schemes that are money guzzlers, is mainly due to retaining Hyderabad, an economic nerve centre, during bifurcation of the erstwhile united state of AP. Hyderabad has always been an economic stronghold and a jewel in the crown for Telangana. That it generates immense financial resources for the state is beyond doubt. But imagine the situation when the finances generated by Hyderabad used to be spent for the entire erstwhile AP of 25 districts and the current scenario when its finances now need to be spent on a mere 10 districts when it was bifurcated ! As KCR often declares, Telangana is indeed a rich state. This is manifest in the continuous and steady increase in growth rate of its revenue receivables from various departments, the primus inter pares (first among the equals) being the VAT Department (now the State Taxes Department). The State has even belied the GST implementation blues by beating economic pundits’ predictions of disaster in revenue receivables. Today it is in an enviable position of not being qualified to demand any compensation for revenue loss from the Federal Govt. as its growth rate has always been above the agreed benchmark of 14 % as decided by the GST Council!

In KTR, the state is indeed fortunate to have a suave Minister who handles the portfolios of ICT and Urban and Municipal Administration and development. He is glib, urbane while at the same time appealing to the rural masses as he represents a constituency Sircilla, a weaver-dominated town in erstwhile Karimnagar Dist and today a district by itself! All other ministers are either dummies (examples being Home, Finance, Transport, Excise, Health etc) or do not enjoy the confidence of the CM but are there mainly to balance caste equations! But one glaring omission is representation of women in the cabinet or the lack of it! Only the Deputy Speaker of the State Assembly is a woman! For a party, presumably going to the hustings, this would be a millstone around its neck and a stick given to the Opposition to beat the ruling party with! Only that the Congress needs to milk this advantage.

KCR is sure he is going to come back as his own survey constituency-wise projects his comeback with a 100 seat tally! Confidence personified no doubt but isn’t he underestimating the Opposition, especially the Congress? The Congress Telangana is bereft of leaders, with everyone fancying himself/herself as a leader! But a look at the ‘galaxy’ of leaders in the Congress doesn’t inspire much confidence or hope for those who read the tea leaves! Already many of its leaders have been poached by TRS! Ticket distribution in the Telangana Congress will be a challenge for the Delhi leadership of the party. The CWC members who are designated as State In Charges, will play a key role in ticket distribution. For the Congress to come out clear of this controversy, it needs to appoint someone who is acceptable to the rank and file of the cadre and who can galvanize them to deliver when and where it matters! The Congress can stitch up a formidable alliance with the Telangana TDP, Kodandaram’s party and assorted political outfits that have sprouted in the state since its formation! Then it can have a fair chance of toppling the current ruling dispensation! So smart alliancing is the best way for the Congress in Telangana!

As for the BJP, the state cadre may not want to ally with TRS but again it will be Amit Shah’s the BJP President’s calling whether to ally or not! The BJP’s desire is always to chart an independent path and emerge as a sole contender. But given the state of the party, it too doesn’t inspire much confidence! It does not have mass leaders who can galvanize the cadre and the crowds. So it may have to be content with playing the second fiddle. But an overt alliance may not materialize nor may the TRS be interested, given the cosy relationship TRS and KCR enjoy with Owaisi’s Muslim Party. For the fear of alienating the Muslim vote, KCR may put up the pretense of fighting the BJP but it is going to be nevertheless ‘friendly fights’. Post the General elections in April 2019, if the NDA is short of a working majority, the TRS can provide the numbers making the NDA reach the finishing line in govt formation!

So the scene is set and Telangana is in for interesting and exciting times!

The year was 1984 and I was in a seedy movie hall in Tirupati, South India settling down to watch ‘Beautiful People (some call them animals)’ with a paper cone containing spicy peanuts to enhance my watching experience. The movie was a brilliant wild life compilation crisply narrated; all about animal behaviours and their survival in the heart of the Kalahari Desert. It left a lingering impression but I did not think of it much then. Come 1988 I watched ‘Gods Must Be Crazy’ and this time I paid attention as the locales seemed similar to the previous movie. The movie was again shot in the Kalahari; I was curious which country encompassed the Kalahari; it turned out to be Botswana (and Namibia). Botswana then never crossed my mind until late 1990.

I worked in Malawi from 1989 to 1990 for a sad company called Hindustan Construction Company (HCC) which was and is a listed mega Indian company carrying out work all over the world. I observe that HCC presently delivers ~AUD 840M of infrastructure p.a. Without digressing too much the bone I pick with HCC is that they ventured into Malawi transporting hundreds of pieces of junk quality road building equipment from Samawah, Iraq for an ambitious high profile project in Malawi. These assets were well milked. Therefore we failed to complete the roadworks in Malawi impacting our morale and personal reputation amidst the local community. This is only one of the beefs for I have many more but then the whole Malawi experience is for another day.

On our last legs in Malawi with HCC and with prospects in India absolutely dismal (the balance of payments was precarious in 1990) as it was a shut economy, I was compelled to explore external opportunities. It was during these times that my dear friend Vageesh and I would talk about moving to Botswana, clutching on to chilled Carlsberg Green almost every night and discuss future plans panning well into the serene nights of Mtakataka (those are memories or what??). We would talk about many issues but the main topic was to establish ourselves in Botswana because it supposedly was the land of milk and honey undergoing a diamond fueled construction boom. One of our colleagues had already established himself in Botswana and the feedback from him on the country and opportunities was fantastic.

In late 1990, subdued with the way it all ended in Malawi, I came back to India and immediately commenced planning with fervour on how to land in Botswana. Long story short, after picking a few pointers from Vageesh who was residing at Tumkur, South India then, I booked a one way ticket to Lilongwe (capital of Malawi) to plant myself plumb on the long road to Gabarone, Botswana.

I pause here to reflect on Bob Dylan’s excerpt from his satirical classic ‘No direction Home’ where he says (he can’t really sing, can he?) “— when you got nothing you got nothing to lose —!”. Truly I had nothing to lose but the risks were immense. At an age when my appetite for stupidity and risk taking was abundant, I am glad I made the decisions I made which resulted in great experiences, adventures, a unique journey that taught me life lessons and help me grow exponentially.

The immeasurable kindness of ex-colleagues from HCC such as Mr Patil and Pappu Srinivas brings a lump to my throat. Without their gracious and all out assistance and support, it would have been impossible to foray into Botswana. Stranded (visa issues) and shuttling between Lilongwe (Mr Patil) and Blantyre (Pappu) to reduce the load on either of my friends was a learning experience. Despite kindness of my friends, killing time and pursuing my ambition of landing in Botswana was very challenging.

Botswana had embassies only in Lusaka and Harare. As a preferred option I landed in Lusaka and getting the travel visa was an easy fetch. In Lusaka again the kindness and love shown my Mr Sharma from Delhi and Dr Salim from Hyderabad was unbelievable. It was my first hand experience of expats enjoying the highest quality of life in Africa and reinforced in me that all this was possible if one worked hard and had focus.

The visa helped me fly into Gaborone (pronounced Khabarone). An average Zambian Airways plane ride hovering over the Kalahari with monotonous landscape was an unforgettable experience. Memories of the movies I had seen refreshed in my mind and the rush of excitement, joy and satisfaction of having succeeded in landing in Botswana came true. When one is that young, even a simple achievement seems bloody great.

The airport was tiny but ‘posh’. The swagger and the suspicious look on the immigration officer’s face was apparent. The reasons unknown to me then, became clear progressively as I attempted to survive and etch my path in Gaborone. Expats had taken over the country! My immediate instinct was to compare the Motswana (native of Botswana) with the Malawian. The contrast was STARK! The Motswana was confident and well dressed with a certain arrogance stemming from the diamond riches and the social security his country offered. Their wealth had put them in a pole position of being able to lend to the World Bank in those days!

In comparison the poor Malawian with no shoes, mostly in rags, much darker in colour (nah, not being racist but an observation) humble, respectful of expatriates and very complying, came to my mind. Also what caught my attention quickly as I came under Botswana skies with feet on their soil was a billboard loudly screaming “Dirisa sekause“! (use condoms). With AIDS ravaging the country and infecting close to a third of the 1.6M population, it was hardly surprising that the government was unabashed in promoting condoms’ use; how successful they were was anyone’s guess. Such campaigns become a success with time. That only occurs  with education and natives experiencing the devastating impacts on their loved ones first hand over the years.

The rapid learnings, how I built my life over the next six plus years in Botswana, how I became a pioneer in inculcating self limiting beliefs in the initial years amidst the negative environment that existed within a significant section of the Indian community needs discussion. Even the most mediocre of achievements then provided me a quick burst of confidence only to be snatched away by a careless comment/act from someone I held in esteem. The petty but subtle politics, the class divide, the sadistic and perverse joy some derived in others’ misery, some rubbing in their success into those who were battered and bruised; all triggered in I making a conscious choice of moving out of the country in 1996 before getting used to the limited exposure and the ‘frog in the well’ lifestyle. Maybe it was the age and lack of experience which put me on the back foot? But again I think maybe not because I was tremendously successful in Malawi despite all limitations that existed within my work place. It had to be the environment, I conclude.

Having mentioned the above, I also remember some of the most amazing and brilliant times I had after making a handful of friends who are now friends for life. It was their friendship and support that contributed to my positive experiences during some of the most difficult times. The proximity to amazing wildlife, a marvel known as South Africa, Hwange National Park, Vic Falls, and several other attractions in Boputhathswana are my fondest memories and will stay so until the day I cease to exist. Two most important beings joined me in my journey in Botswana; my Mrs. and my beautiful elder kid Trishala. Avanti my younger one was conceived there but was born in India. I still remind Trishala in jest that she is a Motswana and belongs to the Mogkhatla tribe from Mochudi, where she was born.

Before I wander into excessive drivel, I conclude with a comment that Botswana was a huge positive after finding my tribe of like minded individuals. Until that happened it was an experience of put downs, class based treatment, Johnny come lately sneers, tolerating the ‘Oh we are from the Zambia and we have milked it there and now we are milking Botswana’ club’s arrogance and witnessing ‘will kick you when you are already in the gutter lying bleeding’ type of acts. I eventually picked myself up from all the unnecessary negative internal chatter and craved success and achievement. This was all possible because of a beautiful country called New Zealand which nurtured and built me over 10 yeras. It was not all smooth sailing in NZ but I had great outcomes that set me up well in Oz and for the future. Much sharing around the corner and in the offing; until then happy reading 🙂

It was not an overnight realisation that I should start a blog. It has been playing on my mind for a while. I do not have supreme command on English however I do have valuable experiences to share.

My 19 year old upon hearing my intent responded in the usual manner “Dad, you are getting old!”. Inwardly I rolled my eyes just as she does when I offer advice and said to myself “Well, I won’t stop now; about time I did what feels right!”

Selfish interests here are clear for I have much to share and self actualise as below:

1. Reflect on past, present and future
2. Call out my own past behaviours and self deprecate as I please
3. Learnings I gathered through experiences including others’ behaviours towards me
4. Interesting personalities I met over the several years
5. Interesting anecdotes stories
6. Travel experiences
7. My own slow transformation from being a push over to one who stood up for myself; albeit very late in life
8. The late bloomer in me, from being a sub-ordinary fellow to becoming a resilient proud individual
9. Taking up studies as a mature student with two young kids and doing a bloody great job; never stopping to learn
10. Building self-esteem with each success and believing in myself that almost all is possible
11. Working, rucking and succeeding amidst best of talent and competition
12. Most importantly learning as a parent and becoming a better one progressively
13. Etc, etc . . .

I know along the way I will share information that may affect me negatively (and positively); particularly how people would perceive me. I am not a masochist by any measure. The point is that at the age I am and at my juncture of life, it would be a pity if I have to whisper and purse my lips on issues I feel strongly on.

I only hope I receive the support, encouragement and learn from others’ contribution. So here goes – – – –